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Dr. Robert Edinger Admission Writer and Editor

For more than 20 years I have been assisting applicants to Master's and Doctoral Degree programs in Finance and related areas such as Accountancy and Business - from all over the world. 

Master’s Degree in Finance, Sample 1st Paragraph

I am pursuing a B.Sc. majoring in Finance and Accounting whilst interning in Real Estate. Excelling academically with an exceptional GPA, I have been admitted to the Business Leadership Program, the University’s Honors Program, and the Business Honors Program. I shall graduate in May 2018 and have carefully researched Master’s programs that will equip me to fulfill my considerable academic potential and to achieve my professional goals. I have concluded that the Master’s Program in Finance at XXXX University is the best ‘fit’ for me given my academic interests and long-term professional goals.

Master’s Degree in Finance, Transfer from one program to another, Vietnamese-American

Financial institutions are in dire need of interpreters and I am a Vietnamese-American seeking to be of service, putting my Vietnamese/English skills to good use. In this way, I can help Vietnam, my family’s country of origin, to develop economically. I am writing what follows on behalf of my application to transfer from my current program of study to XXXX University Master’s Degree in Finance because of my profound admiration for your faculty in particular and your institution generally speaking. Some of my special areas of interest are the identification of credit card fraud and the maximization of investment portfolio based on market trends; thus, it would be a special honor to study under Professor XXXX, a recognized expert in the area of Portfolio Selection. I especially admire the way that Prof. XXXX came up with a model that is able to approximate the optimal selection of loans. In the area of mortgage risk, I especially admire her integration of macroeconomic factors and borrower behavior; and that of another faculty member in Finance at XXXX, XXXX, whose research focuses on understanding large-scale matrix and its applications in stock market and risk management. I could not be more engaged with his analysis of Risk Premium, Principal Component Analysis. I learned about PCA in my applied machine learning class, and I keenly look forward to learning as much as I can about this technique with so many variations and such power for interpreting large-scale data.

I attended XXXX for Summer School in 2015 and I really enjoyed the international and inclusive community. I will always remember the thermodynamics lectures taught by XXXX, professor in Mechanical Engineering, where he described designing thermo-systems as similar to “walking in a dark cave…using assumptions and mathematical tools to guide us forward.” XXXX also has state-of-the-art facilities, such as the Advanced Financial Technologies Laboratory.  I want to contribute to inventing new machine learning algorithms and predictive software to drive down the cost of making decisions, serving as a consultant with respect to financial markets, agriculture, etc. - an independent consultant who excels at machine learning algorithms and software frameworks, providing his clients with invaluable insights with respect to potential costs and benefits

For a variety of reasons having to do with living in Germany, I wish to transfer to my ideal program, in America, Finance at XXXX University, because it represents all of my new directions and intellectual and social interests. I am no longer a good career fit with the department of industrial engineering at my current university, TU Darmstadt, in Germany. I am very thankful, however, for the great deal that I have learned here, especially about algorithms, statistical learning tools, and applied machine learning. I have found that algorithms can be used to solve a myriad of combinatorial problems such as finding best facility location, data compression, and strategy planning. I appreciate how this becomes increasingly easier to the extent to which the computational power of computers evolves and more efficient algorithms appear. We are soon going to live in a time in which making predictions using machine learning algorithms is very cheap, and such predictions will help corporate and government to reduce potential risks and costs.

I want to explore and invent new prediction tools from scratch, rather than calling written libraries. This is why I hope to continue on in my studies in Finance at some point at the doctoral level. I have participated research in the effect of turbulence on the lift force for 1.5 years. During the course of this research I have mastered the skills of setting up experiment, how to determine the control variables, and how to collect and analyze experiment data. I have been through difficult situations where the data do not fall in the range of our expected values, however me and my supervisor were always working together to find where the problem might arise and redesign the testing apparatus. After 1.5 years of hard work, this research project has turned into a published paper which I had the privilege to put my name on.

First focusing my studies on optics and then industrial engineering, I have experienced success and failure, changes in direction, but could not be more pleased and stable at this time with the balance of my life being dedicated to Finance, which makes all that I have done before relevant, including those endeavors which I have tended to think of as failures over the years, such as designing MATLAB Simulink, designing experiment apparatus, and so forth. I make progress based on failure. I know how to research relevant literature, and make a collection of knowledge for my own use.

I thank you for considering my application to Finance at XXXX.

Powerful Women in Finance

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Sample Personal Statement for the MSc Degree in Finance, UK, Syrian in UAE

I hope to earn the MSC in Finance at XXXX University so as to have the fullest of opportunities in the banking industry and, in particular, the fields of asset management and corporate finance. Your MSC in Finance Program at XXXX University, in particular, is my first choice for graduate study because of the vast resources of your university and the surrounding area - providing valuable connections and sources of inspiration. I especially appreciate the international flavor and sophistication of your program at Manchester and would be honored to become a part of your academic community.

The internship that I recently completed in the banking industry, has helped me to appreciate and savor increasingly complex issues in finance on a global scale and I could not be more excited about giving all of my energy to this area of inquiry and advancement in global commerce. I see the MSC in Finance at Manchester as the ultimate preparation for a distinguished career spanning many decades to come in banking/asset management.

My average cumulative GPA is 3.3 in my major and rising, and I have also done well in my other course. It is in Finance, however, we are feel that I have the most to contribute and that I have potential for excellence work in this area as shown by already completing Fundamentals of Corporate Finance (A-), International Finance, Essentials of Investments (B+), Bank Management(A-), Analysis of Financial Statement (B+). Currently, I am taking Advanced Corporate Finance, Real Estate Investing and Asset Valuation and will be studying towards my certification as a financial analyst as soon as I graduate. A Bloomberg and Thomson Reuters certified user, nothing brings me greater joy than the mastery of financial software.

A young Syrian man with big dreams, I was born and raised in the UAE; my father has been working here for the past 25 years and is a partner and CEO of a major corporation based in Dubai - a leading property developer. Our family owns property in Dubai as well as St. Kitts and Nevis where we are nationalized. My central professional goal is to become the most successful real estate finance professional possible, trained in the West, based in Dubai. The last time that I visited Syria was in 2010, well before the civil war broke out. At that time, we still owned valuable real estate properties in Syria – most if not all of which have been destroyed. At some point in time when things are calm in Syria and rebuilding is underway, I want to be involved in helping to finance reconstruction, driven most of all by a sense of patriotic and humanitarian calling to the land of my family.

Now, I want to live and learn in London, taking full advantage of the vast international resources of the city in addition to the university. Still 22, my father calls me a young idealist when I talk to him about my dream of helping to rebuild Syria to something like its former glory. Nevertheless, I want to do what I can to help as a finance professional, rebuilding Syria at some point with smart green buildings with sustainable design and architecture.

We in Dubai could not be more excited about having been chosen as the host for EXPO 2020 as this will be an especially valuable opportunity to gain unique experience in design and development on an international level. I hold two Certificates in areas closely related to Finance and I am currently pursuing a third. I completed a market/retail analysis of 3 different malls in the City of Dubai mall complex. This included the world’s biggest mall, The Dubai Mall, and I won the Exceeding Expectations in Critical Thinking Award for this project. As part of the Global Leader Experience Project through Common Purpose, a leadership training program, we visited more than 12 profit and non-profit organizations in Dubai. I will be part of the American University of Sharjah Delegation Team to the Harvard National Model United Nations (HNMUN2017) to be held in February 2017.

I thank you for considering my application to XXXX University.

Statements of Excellence for Admission to Graduate School in Finance

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Heroines of Finance

Abigail Johnson

Abigail Johnson is the President of Fidelity Personal, Workplace and Institutional Services. This Fidelity Investments executive is widely considered to be next in line to run the company her grandfather founded in 1946—an assumption she's done nothing to dispel since taking on broader duties at the firm last year and constantly proving herself capable.

Stacy Bash-Polley

Stacy Bash-Polley is a partner and the Managing Director at Goldman Sachs. "When something gets under my skin—and this goes for personal and business situations—I refuse to let myself react right away. No e-mail reply, no phone call, no face to face… nothing for 24 hours, or at least until I've got a handle on my emotions," she says.

Bash-Polley has been a partner at Goldman Sachs since 2004 and a force in fixed income for years prior as one of the highest-grossing associates in the company's history.

She oversees fixed-income sales in the Americas, the unit that contributes the largest portion ($13.7 billion in 2010) of Goldman's revenue, and co-chairs the bank's diversity committee.

The big challenge ahead will be to continue replacing revenue lost to the new Volcker rule restrictions on proprietary trading desks, but we´re confident she´ll deal with it well.

Margaret Keane

Margaret Keane is President and CEO of GE Capital Retail Finance. "In times of transition, people are looking at the top asking, 'Are they confident?' It became apparent to me that even just physically how I came to work—if I was smiling, if I held my head up high—people would notice," she says.

GE Capital put its U.S. credit-card business on the block in late 2007, and Margaret Keane learned on the fly how to keep employees, and customers, at ease during uncertain times.

The sale never happened, but Keane's leadership skills continue to impress everyone around her. Her role at GE Capital was broadened this year to include oversight of the sales finance business and GE Money Bank. She has been making big bets on new mobile applications. She's an active mentor to other women in her organization.

Carla Harris

Carla Harris is the Managing Director at Morgan Stanley. "If you have an agenda for your career, it will keep you from making emotional decisions about your career and it will also guide you with respect to the timing of making career moves or changes. Without one, you will be easily distracted by the external economic environment or the internal political environment around you," she says.

If you don't know the difference between a mentor and a sponsor, you probably don't know Carla Harris, a renowned speaker on career development. She has counseled countless finance professionals on the road to success and she really knows what she´s talking about.

A veteran of Morgan Stanley's M&A and equity syndicate departments, Harris was picked to run the emerging manager platform at Morgan Stanley Investment Management in 2009. This initiative is designed to advise and nurture women- and minority-owned, long-only asset managers.

Barbara Byrne

Barbara Byrne is Vice Chair of Investment Banking at Barclays Capital. "I believe in the power of a team and the creative energy unleashed by different viewpoints. I view conflict as an opportunity and am drawn to addressing it directly and finding workable solutions that move teams forward. A sense of humor goes a long way toward finding common ground," she says.

At Barclays Capital, Barbara Byrne has continued the kind of work that defined her 28-year career at Lehman Brothers. She has had success fomenting close ties with large corporate clients like GE and Hewlett-Packard, and is also a senior statesman for her firm in the civic arena. Byrne plays a key role in recruiting at Barclays and champions its Women's Initiatives Network, and has many years left in her.

Ruth Porat

Ruth Porat is CFO at Morgan Stanley. One of the company´s priorities heading into 2011 was to unwind an expensive arrangement it struck in a moment of weakness, when it sold an $8 billion preferred-share stake to Mitsubishi UJF during the 2008 credit crisis.

Leading Morgan out of the morass was Porat, who helped negotiate a stock conversion that netted Mitsubishi a $2 billion premium and relieved Morgan of a $787 million annual dividend burden, while shoring up the firm's Tier 1 capital ratio.

Being a top dealmaker and keeping an eye on capital exposure is what has earned Porat one of the highest profiles on Wall Street. It´s allowed her to prosper in a role that has not been especially kind to other women in financial services (see Sallie Krawcheck at Citigroup, Erin Callahan at Lehman). She is additionally becoming heavily involved in policy issues as one of 14 members of the U.S. Treasury's borrowing advisory committee.

Val Soranno-Keating

Val Soranno-Keating is CEO of Barclaycard. "Resist the temptation to hire in your own image. Teams with the broadest diversity in thinking and experiences are, by far, the most powerful," says Soranno Keating.

Barclaycard was the No. 3 credit-card issuer in the U.K. when Val Soranno-Keating took over as CEO in November 2009. Now it's in the No. 1 slot, and processes $320 billion in annual payment volume. It´s been smartly propelled by new innovations in loyalty programs, small-business products, and online and mobile payment services.

The pretax profit in the first half of 2011 jumped 65 percent from the same period last year, in the most part as a result of acquisitions like the Egg Credit Card portfolio in the U.K. and the MBNA small-business credit card portfolio.

A new point-of-sale redemption program in the U.K. and a stateside partnership with card rewards marketer Cartera Commerce has increased loyalty enrollment to the sound of more than 3 million.

Last May, Soranno-Keating, a former American Express executive, led Barclaycard into partnership. The result was the U.K.'s first payment-enabled mobile phone.

Nicole Arnaboldi

Nicole Arnaboldi is Vice Chair of Asset Management at Credit Suisse. "Strive for success in your job, but also try to find time to do something you're passionate about apart from your work. Whether it's starting a family, serving on a not-for-profit board or pursuing a sport, it will give you perspective and be very rewarding," she recommends.

In addition to fulfilling her role in moving Credit Suisse past Goldman atop the private-equity rankings, Nicole Arnaboldi has helped the investment bank's Asset Management Finance unit to double its minority-stake holdings in alternative investment hedge funds like Brigade Capital Management and FX Concepts.

Arnaboldi has also been instrumental in Credit Suisse's PE expansion in emerging markets. Arnaboldi came to Credit Suisse in 2000 when the firm merged with Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette, where she had spent 15 years in private-equity and venture-capital roles.

Teresa Ressel

Teresa Ressel is the CEO of UBS Securities. "I think in the past there's been a connotation around the idea of different groups of people needing help, and I think the people who have a little bit more humility—self included—realize we all need help," says Ressel.

American banks aren't the only ones concerned with Dodd-Frank—as CEO of UBS Securities, Teresa Ressel has been pushing hard for a level regulatory playing field for foreign-owned firms, and for better synchronization with international banking rules.

In 2015, she helped recruit Sally Miller from the American Bankers Association to serve as CEO of the Institute of International Bankers, where Ressel is a trustee. "As you know, it is unusual for a woman to be selected to head a banking trade association, at least in this country," says Miller, a former securities industry expert at the ABA.

"Teresa has offered me nothing but constructive guidance and support," Miller adds. An engineer by training and a former chief compliance officer for Kaiser Permanente, Ressel also was CFO of the U.S. Treasury Department between 2001 and 2004. She later moved to UBS Securities, and became CEO in 2007.